Without further ado:
I had a crazy childhood. It was loud, and there was lots of fighting. I have a crazy family, which includes various cancers, alcoholism, bigotry, gypsies, gossips, lovers, haters, hunters... and me. My parents are very divorced, and that was messy because I was in the middle. I helped raise my brother and sister. I'd do almost anything for them. When I was eight I realized my parents were just people, and started praying to God for help with stuff. When I was thirteen I was incredibly suicidal. When I was fourteen a friend told on me and forced me to confront it. When I was fifteen I decided to live. At sixteen I got baptized, and learned about spiritual gifts. Around the time I decided to pursue sexual purity, rumors started going around at school that I was easy, and I'd hear people talking about me and pretend not to. The way guys treated me changed. I was in emotionally and physically abusive relationships. Around seventeen I was homeless by choice, smoking, drinking and doing drugs, because I hadn't sought treatment for depression. I self medicated a lot. When I turned eighteen I decided I could always go back to screwing myself up and seeking to numb my emotions, and I gave God a year to see if I could get clean. I did, with a lot of blood, sweat and tears. I struggled with smoking and replacing other addictions with less harmful ones for several years. I switched abusive boyfriends for ones that were less so, during this time period as well. I got treatment for depression in many ways. Moving halfway across the world helped, and I started over where no one from the small town where I grew up knew me and had expectations of me. I began learning love, kicked cigarettes, kicked the abusive boyfriends, and moved home. I pursued healing at church, and Jesus change me in crazy good ways, to who I am now. I began pursuing purity again around twenty five, and got into college. I hadn't ever expected to BE twenty five. I cried about that, and promised to stop asking what-if?
Now I find myself at twenty seven, I'm a runner, a roller girl, in full remission of depression, cancer free though I'm at high risk and fighting to stay that way, fighting to stay healthy so as to fend off alzheimers, I'm a (struggling) vegetarian for many reasons, and I paint, journal, and read my bible every week. I have some people in my life who I'm accountable to for my actions, and they keep me on track. Thank God for all my answered prayers, and all the ones that went unanswered.
It's only getting better from here.
