I have, however, re-laced my skates twice, been to several bouts, gotten a haircut, decided to grow my hair out afterwards, had several asthma attacks, killed a pot of flowers, made a new moss garden, been up to my ears in baby bunnies, bought art supplies, bought a cheap version of a steamer trunk, started packing to move to Cleveland, and begun wondering if I'll be able to make it happen.
I decided it's okay for a blog to be less polished, now and then. So, with that in mind, this particular entry is from a less secure standpoint, personally speaking.
I don't feel that I'm the only one wondering this, by any means. My entire generation has found themselves on the other side of an economic estrangement from their parents. Parents question why they themselves aren't able to make it, while also helping their kids. Kids moving into their own life question why it's so hard, when it wasn't like this for mom and dad, who often judge a child's success by their generations vantage point. We inevitably all fall short of success. Which sucks.
The difference is, and I'm often not able to make people older than me understand this, YOU HAD TIME TO ESTABLISH YOURSELF FINANCIALLY, before the U.S. turned upside down. I'm not saying you did it right, or wrong, and I'm not accounting for your choices. I'm stating, you had opportunities, we in many cases will never have. Which sucks.
So now I find myself on the cusp of thirty, which I'm excited about. What I'm not excited about is how I'm still in school slugging away at credits, can't well without it threatening to double my anxiety medicines dose, and that I can't afford dental or vision. I can barely afford gas money and a healthy lifestyle. Which sucks.I can't even, REALLY, afford to go back to school, but I'll try to.
Yes, I admit I've made bad choices in life. Lots. I'm aware that that puts me little behind the game, and that it's my fault. I'm being really negative, I know.
Here's my positivity: I'm going to make my own life happen even if this IS my billionth mistake and my eleven billionth try.
It just all sucks, because it's so hard to make a life. Even when you are getting help.
I know it's gotten in my way before trying to polish some masterpiece instead of just writing some thoughts. It's your blog; do what you want :)
ReplyDeleteAlso, you should totally move to Cleveland (or Lakewood) if you can. It's where the party's at... or at least where cheap apartments are!
Also, thanks for your comment on my blog! It's one of my favorites I've ever gotten, because it indicated to me that at least for one reader I achieved all my objectives in writing that post :)